12-week fat loss plan

Well, I guess now you can be called fat…but not after 3 months! Sixpack is coming! You sinned a lot during Christmas, and the Spring is already here? Don’t worry, when the beach season starts, you’ll be like Zeus who fucks everyone or like Medusa who makes all the guys hard!

Here are some examples, so you can hopefully relate:

Here is Kyle, Kyle is a 25-year-old 175 cm tall male with an average metabolism and average lifestyle. Kyle is a student who had never done sports, he has a dadbod without actually fathering, since he is still a virgin. It’s not like he is a party animal and a culinary enthusiast, he’s just not doing any physical activities, while eating shitty foods. A typical lazy fucker without ever fucking anything alive, who is even late from his classes, and his grades suck, but that’s the only sucking he had ever gotten.

Nonetheless, one day Kyle looks into the mirror and sees the hanging bacon like a disgusting fanny pack, and deep inside he knows fanny packs are actually super useful, yet not trendy at all. Battling with such philosophical contradictions, he decides to change his life. Not only because he will stop being a loser as soon as he’ll lose his virginity, but the more he’ll be in shape the more will look a fanny pack trendy in other people’s eyes.

Since Kyle has an average metabolism with an average college lifestyle, he will:

  • do a 45-min slow cardio every morning on empty stomach after waking up on a treadmill forcing to watch/listen/read study materials
  • choose a beginner training plan, and later he switches to the 3 days a week professional training plan, so he can adjust it to his weekly schedule
  • pick the moderate fat loss diet plan, which means 150 g proteins, 150 g carbs and 113 g fats, which is 2213 kcal. If it is too much, he lowers it, and if it’s too low, he can eat more or just skip morning cardios completely (albeit treadmill cardio is the best way to study, and you’ll have the rest of the day to waste while not being a fat fuck)

After this plan Kyle will not only lose weight, not only he will feel generally better, not only he will start to get better grades, not only he will get laid, but he will also make fanny pack trendy again!

Workout day

  • At 7:45 Kyle wakes up, goes for his 45-min morning walk. Then he showers, makes his coffee, and attends his classes.
  • At 11:00 Kyle eats his no-carb meal as breakfast.
  • At 13:30 Kyle eats his lunch during a break.
  • At 16:00 Kyle eats his second lunch during after classes.
  • At 17:30 Kyle starts his workout, and 19:00 after his workout he drinks his post-workout shake.
  • At 20:00 Kyle eats his dinner.
  • Then Kyle wastes his time with useless things as every millennial, but he mans up, stops playing his stupid game or watching his stupid series, and goes to sleep at 24:00.

Rest day

  • At 7:45 Kyle wakes up, goes for his 45-min morning walk. Then he showers, makes his coffee, and attends his classes.
  • At 11:00 Kyle eats his no-carb meal as breakfast.
  • At 13:30 Kyle eats his lunch during a break.
  • At 16:00 Kyle eats his second lunch during after classes.
  • At 18:30 Kyle eats his dinner.
  • Then Kyle wastes his time with useless things as every millennial, but he mans up, stops playing his stupid game or watching his stupid series, and goes to sleep at 24:00.

Here is Kylie, Kylie is a 35-year-old 165 cm tall female with an average metabolism and active lifestyle. Kylie is an office worker. Kylie has a dog, she wakes up every morning with motivation, and can’t wait to go out to the fresh air to see her dog’s happy face. Be like Kylie. Kylie has a little workout experience (some trendy yoga obviously and a few crossfit classes). Kylie leads an active lifestyle, she hikes a lot, and does yoga sometimes, also, she is a big fan of seasonal sports too. Despite her active lifestyle she’s still a snacky eater, so once in a while she accumulates some belly that once in a while she decides to drop.

Since Kylie has an average metabolism with an active lifestyle, she will:

  • do a 45-min slow cardio every morning on empty stomach after waking up while walking her dog
  • choose the 6-day cycle professional training plan; she choses this because the cyclic form gives her more freedom with the other activities
  • pick the moderate fat loss diet plan, which means 130 g proteins, 130 g carbs and 98 g fats, which is 1918 kcal. If it’s too low, she will switch to a higher diet plan, since moving less is not an option for her. If it’s too much, she downgrades.

After this plan Kylie will not only get into her fitness model form, not only can shine at the beach, not only make professional-looking Instagram pics while hiking or doing yoga, but she will also make her dog the happiest boi on earth increasing the morning walks!

Workout day

  • At 7:00 Kylie wakes up, goes for her 45-min morning dog walk. Then she showers, and goes to the office.
  • At 9:00 Kylie eats her no-carb meal as breakfast.
  • At 12:00 Kylie eats her lunch with other colleagues and talks shit about their boss.
  • At 15:00 Kylie eats her second lunch.
  • At 17:00 Kylie starts her workout, and at 18:30 she drinks her post-workout shake.
  • At 19:30 Kylie eats her dinner.
  • Then Kylie reads, watches some shows, ghosts some losers on Tinder, goes for a dog walk before sleep, and goes to sleep at 23:00.

Rest day

  • At 7:00 Kylie wakes up, goes for her 45-min morning dog walk. Then she showers, and goes to the office.
  • At 9:00 Kylie eats her no-carb meal as breakfast.
  • At 12:00 Kylie eats her lunch with other colleagues and talks shit about their boss.
  • At 15:00 Kylie eats her second lunch.
  • At 18:00 Kylie eats her dinner.
  • Then Kylie reads, watches some shows, ghosts some losers on Tinder, goes for a dog walk before sleep, and goes to sleep at 23:00.

Here is Robert, Robert is a 45-year-old 185 cm tall male with average metabolism and family lifestyle. Robert is a construction worker. He knows his physical profession needs a lot of calories, hence he’s always tried to eat more, especially that he works out as well. Robert “eats like a miner”, except for the fact that now miners are just neckbeards watching their GPU-s say brrrrr. However, eating a lot, but not well appeared on his body, and he accumulated a thicc dadbod. He used to jog a lot, but he hated it, and now he can finally ditch it once and for all. He secretly believes that there is a special place in hell for people who love cardio. He also re-wrote Dante’s Divine Comedy to put one more chamber in Hell for cardio-sinners just below the traitors, but it was too cringe, so he’s shown it only to his cat. Of course, when he was younger he did some lifting. He likes to have an active lifestyle, but with family and everything it’s not that easy to fetch time for them, while they usually spend the weekends together. Robert’s body is turning into its old phase, but thank God, with hypertrophy workout and a perfect diet he can remain younger than many people in their 20’s. His daily schedule allows him to train early morning. Robert is a real man, he doesn’t whine, he just wakes up and get things done, so he can arrive to the job fresh and full of energy and satisfaction.

Since Robert has an average metabolism with hard manual labour & family lifestyle, he will:

  • not do cardio, spends the rest days by helping to prepare the kids
  • choose the 3 days a week professional training plan
  • pick the light fat loss diet plan, which means 170 g proteins, 213 g carbs and 128 g fats, which is 2684 kcal. If it’s too low, he will switch to a higher diet plan, and if it’s too much, he will choose a lower one

After this plan Robert will not only get into a shape, not only all the single moms at his kids’ school will fantasise about him, not only he’ll land better clients because of his appearance, but also his wife will happy, since her husband will look irresistible making the boys jealous on the beach, while his improved performance in bed will spice up their marriage too, plus his abs will make his wife wetter than ever before.

Workout day

  • At 4:00 Robert wakes up, drinks his coffee, while he plans his day and gets inspiration, then at 4:30 he starts his workout, and at 6:00 he drinks his post-workout shake.
  • At 07:00 Robert eats his main meal breakfast with his colleagues, they drink they pre-work coffee and start building.
  • At 10:30 Robert eats his lunch in a break, while the others smoke and drink cocoa.
  • At 14:00 Robert eats his second lunch in lunch break.
  • At 17:30 Robert eats his no carb meal as dinner.
  • Then Robert goes home, takes a nap from 17:30 to 18:30.
  • Then Robert does his adult things, and goes to sleep preferably between 21:30 and 22:00.

Rest day

  • At 6:00 Robert wakes up, prepares what he can for the family, and goes to work.
  • At 07:00 Robert eats his main meal breakfast with his colleagues, they drink they pre-work coffee and start building.
  • At 10:30 Robert eats his lunch in a break, while the others smoke and drink cocoa.
  • At 14:00 Robert eats his second lunch in lunch break.
  • At 17:30 Robert eats his no carb meal as dinner.
  • Then Robert goes home, takes a nap from 17:30 to 18:30.
  • Then Robert does his adult things, and goes to sleep preferably between 21:30 and 22:00.

*If Robert’s shift starts later, then on rest days he prepares the kids and takes them to school. Robert is not a jerk, doesn’t let his wife to do everything, be like Robert.

Here is Roberta, Roberta is a 55-year-old 155 cm tall female with slow metabolism and home office lifestyle. Roberta is a freelancer. She knows she has a slow metabolism, hence she’s always been more body-conscious. She used to jog a lot, she likes it, but now she’s learned it’s not the best way to get in shape, and at her age she needs to spare her joints too. She likes to have an active lifestyle, and with her established work-life balance she’s always on the move when she can. Roberta’s body is turning into its old phase, but thank God, with hypertrophy workout and a perfect diet she can look younger than many people in their 20’s. Roberta realized salads and jogging topped with some yoga won’t help her in ageing. Her skin became loose, and fat deposits accumulated slowly. You don’t want to be skinny fat after 50, trust me. However, after she found unclishfitness.com, she woke up from the misconceptions, and she knows that the secret spring of youth is nothing else but hypertrophy workout and unclish diet. She needs to tone up her body. Her daily schedule allows her to train early morning, which goes well with the home office as well as with the frequent travels. She also bought a treadmill, but instead of some tiresome jogs she can comfortably walk a little uphill every morning while listening to some audiobooks or watching the series she hadn’t have time for. But she can also go for a jog, or to get a dog like every normal human being.

Since Roberta has a slow metabolism with freelance & travel lifestyle, she will:

  • do a 45-min slow cardio every second morning on empty stomach after waking up on rest days
  • choose the 3-day cycle professional training plan; she chooses this one because she’s an early bird, and one day she wakes up to work out, one day to do cardio
  • pick the moderate fat loss diet plan, which means 110 g proteins, 110 g carbs and 83 g fats, which is 1627 kcal. If it’s too low, she will switch to a higher diet plan, since moving less is not an option for her. If it’s too much, she downgrades.

After this plan, Roberta will not only have a tight skin and an ass that would make any straight man hard, not only will she finally feel that she’s back in college hiding from hungry preying gazes of horny applicants for her pussy, not only will she become the cougar Barney Stinson would give everything to get a chance with, but she will be in the possession of the Holy Grail of Youth. I mean, Roberta is a smart woman, she knows her worth is not determined by how men are attracted to her, she just wants to show all her loose hanging-pussy single mom classmates from high-school that “what’s up, bitches?” Nothing tastes better than revenge, especially not chicken with rice.

Workout day

  • At 7:00 Roberta wakes up, drinks her coffee, while he plans her day and gets inspiration, then at 7:30 she starts her workout, and at 9:00 she drinks her post-workout shake.
  • At 10:00 Roberta eats her main meal as breakfast.
  • At 13:00 Roberta eats her lunch.
  • At 16:00 Roberta eats her second lunch.
  • At 19:00 Roberta eats her no carb meal as dinner.
  • Then Roberta does her adult things, and goes to sleep preferably between 22:30 and 23:00.

Rest day

  • At 7:00 Roberta wakes up, does her cardio, showers, then drinks her coffee, while he plans her day and gets inspiration.
  • At 10:00 Roberta eats her no carb meal as breakfast.
  • At 13:00 Roberta eats her lunch.
  • At 16:00 Roberta eats her second lunch.
  • At 19:00 Roberta eats her dinner.
  • Then Roberta does her adult things, and goes to sleep preferably between 22:30 and 23:00.

Your plan

Week 1

-morning cardio

-weight loss meal plan

–training plan

Week 2

-morning cardio

-weight loss meal plan

–training plan

Week 2 weekend: Add extra 0.5 g carbs * (height -100) for one day or switch one meal to a cheat meal. Eat normal food, not junk food! Look up what is food, cheat meal and junk food here.

Week 3

-morning cardio

-weight loss meal plan

–training plan

Week 4

-morning cardio

-weight loss meal plan

–training plan

Week 4 weekend: Add extra 0.5 g carbs * (height -100) for one day or switch one meal to a cheat meal. Eat normal food, not junk food! Look up what is food, cheat meal and junk food here.

Week 5

-morning cardio

-weight loss meal plan

–training plan

Week 6

-morning cardio

-weight loss meal plan

–training plan

Week 6 weekend: Add extra 0.5 g carbs * (height -100) for one day or switch one meal to a cheat meal. Eat normal food, not junk food! Look up what is food, cheat meal and junk food here.

Week 7

-morning cardio

-weight loss meal plan

–training plan

Week 8

-morning cardio

-weight loss meal plan

–training plan

Week 8 weekend: Add extra 0.5 g carbs * (height -100) for one day or switch one meal to a cheat meal. Eat normal food, not junk food! Look up what is food, cheat meal and junk food here.

Week 9

-morning cardio

-weight loss meal plan

–training plan

Week 10

-morning cardio

-weight loss meal plan

–training plan

Week 10 weekend: Add extra 0.5 g carbs * (height -100) for one day or switch one meal to a cheat meal. Eat normal food, not junk food! Look up what is food, cheat meal and junk food here.

Week 11

-morning cardio

-weight loss meal plan

–training plan

Week 12

-morning cardio

-weight loss meal plan

–training plan

So can I just choose whatever training plan and meal plan, and that's it?

“The plan chooses the bodybuilder. That much has always been clear to those of us who have studied fitness… If you are any bodybuilder at all you will be able to channel your workout through almost any instrument. The best results, however, must always come where there is the strongest affinity between bodybuilder and plan. These connections are complex. An initial attraction, and then a mutual quest for experience, the plan learning from the bodybuilder, the bodybuilder from the plan.”

—Mr Boddyvander

It has begun!

April 5th, 2020|0 Comments

Hey all, it took me almost a year, but my blog-website combo is finally ready to go public. It's still not completely ready though, but I hope that by publishing I'll motivate myself more.